Friday, 28 June 2013

My 3 year old poop witholder

Firstly, if you're reading this as an adult, or *horror* teenager, dearest daughter, then I have some major apologising to do - because this is going to be embarrassing to you.  Chances are this blog will be long forgotten and languishing in a dusty area of the internet somewhere.  Blogger may have fallen, even, and years of lovingly crafted blog posts *cough* will have disappeared into the ether.

But if none of this has occurred and you are indeed reading this (open-mouthed in horror, no doubt), then yes, Babyzoid, I apologise and no doubt have some major sucking up to do.  And okay, okay, I will stop calling you Babyzoid.... One day.

The problem is your poop.  Your big, internally stockpiled, begrudgingly parted with poop.

You need to let it go, girl.  For your sake and your loving, but highly frazzled mummy.

See, you mastered wee-wee training (surely there must be a better term for this) really quickly - and well over a year ago now.  A slight bit of reluctance, a handful of accidents, and that was it!  Virtually within a week once we busted out the rewards system.  We bribed, and you responded.  You knew the value of your liquid gold (eww) and you enjoyed your Haribo payment to the max.

But poops?  Well, no amount of encouraging, coaxing, cajoling, manipulating, pleading, or threatening will work. And it's not like we haven't been consistent with every method we've tried.  It's just that we've been trying for that blinking long.  And you're not having any of it.  At first you would withhold until it became solid and spherical (ouch), then you'd get distressed and eventually pass it in your night time pull-up, all hard and sputnik-like.  And nothing, but nothing would persuade you to do it in the potty (back in the day) or the toilet now you're a big girl.  You'll wee on the toilet, no problem.  But pooping? No way.

You're terrified, poor lamb.  And i made a mistake.  Eventually I tried to push you too hard, in spite of reading a zillion advice pieces that told me not to - just because I'd tried everything else and, let's face it, you can be a defiant little missy and sometimes do require a firm hand (metaphorically speaking - we never smacked you, even though sometimes... *deep breath* *count to ten*)

So yes, the pushing didn't work, so we held off again, and now you are back to withholding.  In spite of Lactulose, in spite of Syrup of Figs, in spite of giving you dry Bran Flakes to eat as 'bran crisps' (yum!)  And we don't know what to do.  Our lovely doctor says that we just have to let you forget the trauma of the poops that really hurt and in time you will do it.  I hope so.  I'm hoping that you aren't getting ready to go to Uni, making sure to leave space in your suitcase for the extra-large pull-ups for the night time movement.

And I hope I didn't screw you up too badly when I got upset and said you weren't trying.  I feel very guilty about that.  If we can just aim for being fully toilet-trained by the time you go to school next September, I'll be one ecstatically relieved mummy.

x




14 comments:

  1. Oh dear, that has got to be tough on both of you. I wish I had some helpful advice but I guess it is a matter of time and when she feels comfortable and angst-free about it. That time will come, hopefully before September! Hang in there!

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    1. Yeahhhh, I guess it must be scary when they hurt so much. And it's a vicious circle. Bless her, I must be patient! So hard... x

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  2. Oh honey. She'll do it eventually, I know it. She's a clever little sausage, she'll get there. Don't worry about what damage you've done, that girls not damaged in the slightest!

    And Babyzoid, if the future you is reading this, don't be too hard on your Mama. She's awesome! And anyone who can write "Your big, internally stockpiled, begrudgingly parted with poop" simply rocks!!!

    xxx

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    1. Haha, thanks K :) Maybe Littlebit can help her out and take the lead!!!!! :D xx

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  3. She'll get there... Someone we knew was exactly the same but over time she did get better... You're doing all you can, let go of any mistakes (we all make them!!) and hopefully it wont be long xx

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    1. Thanks Amanda. I hope so too. Just have to have patience (not my strong suit!) :) x

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  4. This seems to be a common problem alright - here it's ongoing constipation problems, but it sounds like you've tried most of things I used when Smiley was small, apart from possibly suppositories?

    But yes, I would think that time will sort it out xxx

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    1. I sure hope so! But yes, we have considered suppositories but that would be the dynamite last resort (literally) ;) x

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  5. Ooh...a difficult tale disclosed in hilarious wording!

    I've been through it (different reasons-not deliberately witholding) for many years with my boy, ending in a trip to A & E! That was more because I was concerned it was kidney related though so don't be alarmed. We've done all that (I love 'bran crisps!) and liquid parafin too. Nowadays he' on paedaetric Movicol. Really good stuff.

    xx Jazzy

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    1. Ouch!!!!! Lots of love for Movicol - I have high hopes :D xx

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  6. paediatric movicol, lots of water/pear juice/fluids. oddly, not too much fibre..it bulks up the stool. fruit ,pears especially. make sure milk consumption is within reccomended limits..too much can constipate..as can bananas. lots of patience! hard i know. give her time to forget the pain and use movicol and diet to get her to 'softer poop stage'. it will be ok. use movicol, diet and eventually a potty training schedule(when she's ready) don't worry..yourself or her..too much, it'll eventually get there,plenty of fluids really made a difference for our little one... i'm her granny. ann.

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    1. Thanks Granny Ann! And interesting about the fibre, I would never have thought of that!!! x

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  7. I second the Paediatric Movicol advice. My daughter is the same and Movicol makes everything better!

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    1. Well we just got a prescription, so fingers crossed! "like dynamite", said the doctor. I can hardly wait, haha

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