It's true. I'm not just saying it. I really do hate my blog. It bores me.
When I started out I didn't really know what I wanted it to be. A diary? Therapy? A record of my journey through motherhood? I didn't really have a plan. It just grew organically until it has finally become this online equivalent of an urban sprawl, all mushroomy and splurging out in every direction, not knowing when or where to stop. A mother is meant to love her own baby, but (metaphor-alert) mine is butt ugly .
I'm kind of over wanting to share the banal minutiae of my day, ever-ee-day as for the time being at least I've lost the art of being even mildly entertaining about it, something I realised while trying to write my last few blog posts (gotta love bloggers block). Don't get me wrong, I value the work I undertook on here in raising prematurity awareness and am especially thankful to those who have contributed (I wouldn't dream of deleting any of it). But somewhere along the way I lost me. Not surprising really as this blog has seen me through PTSD, depression and anxiety - hardly the stuff gags and hilarious anecdotes are made of. But that part of my life is over and aside from the odd bit of awareness work, I refuse to wallow in a bloggy pity-party.
So what to do? Well, I think some time out to consider what I want it to be is a good idea. After all, I'm going to Britmums 2012 and would quite like to go revamped! Like Trinny and Suzanne got their bony man hands all over me and made me all shiny, sparkly and not at all flabby looking. Yeah, I really need a makeover, damnit.
Yes, I think I need to make myself disappear only to re-emerge resplendent from the chrysalis (again, metaphor darlings). It may take weeks, it may take months but I'm going to pull out the dust covers and put this baby in storage. The family has departed Pemberley! (Toffee penny to whomever gets the reference).
So thanks for reading (I'm amazed that you do) and bye for now.
“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” – Buddha