Indeed this shameless competitive parenting puts me in mind of an old blog post by the brilliant Heather at SAHM Loving It, "My Child Mastered The Potty In A Day" - Oh Feck Off!. It pretty much sums it up for me to be honest and if you are an offender then you are most certainly not welcome here. Okay, I jest, and that daydream I just had of me tipping the contents of your prized potty into your Cath Kidson tote was likewise involuntary and I'm totally penitent for it, honest to god. Although you probably already left by now after the threats of violent flickery. Oops.
See Babyzoid has been somewhat resistent in the potty department. We tried a couple of times and there was absolute refusal. A shaking of the head and a pursing of the lips, a look of indignant disbelief "Maman, I don't know what zees eez you're expecting me to peeckle into, but zee answer eez Non! Cava" (Yes, I like to imagine my daughter has turned French when she's infuriating me - it helps).
This went on a few months - stopping and starting and not getting outwardly frustrated as per expert advice "Ohhh honey, never mind! We'll try again for the potty next time. Love you, princess!"
>>>Inward seething whyyyyyyyyy God whyyyyyy? Why is she stubborn like me and not more like her father? He does what I ask (well, some of the time) Why won't she just bend to my will and not continue to defy me so? Just one tinkle! Pleaaaaaase!<<<
She did it of course. In her own sweet time. Just like she does everything. I mean, I love my daughter, but she loves to put her mum through it, she really does. She has never gone by the book or conformed to others' timetables and conventions
- 27 weeks? Hello world - here I coooooome!
- Not going home with mummy and daddy til due date? I don't think so! My twin pals left SCBU yesterday so I'm. Leaving. Too. 2 weeks early! Boo-yah!
- You want to keep breastfeeding me mum? Nahhhh....
- No food til 6 months? Well I'll just stop accepting milk of ANY KIND then! Now what you gonna do?
So yes, she now does all her tinkles in the potty or toilet, and I couldn't be happier - but her number 2s? Not until it forces it's way out in bed or, more usually, while we're eating. I've lost count of the amount of meals we've had this month which have been punctuated with a hopping red-faced Babyzoid who just will not give in. Anally retentive, much? Of course I've now learned the hard way that this too will be something she achieves in her own time. I can try and force the issue (pun totally intended) but more than once I've been rewarded with an issue in my hand and suddenly, mummy has lost her appetite.
One of these days I will learn my lesson: In your own time my love, in your own time.